The True Blue Gentleman by Stacey Glass

Posted on October 19, 2011 by Dutchess Blue

What is a gentleman? When a child is born they are automatically defined by a color. Boys are Blue & Girls are Pink. But as they grow do they stand true to their defined colors. Do boys grow up to be men and act like gentlemen and do girls grow to up to be women and act like ladies? Who defines what a true gentleman or lady is? Over centuries we have had many examples of what is accepted in society and how an individual is supposed to act. So what defines a true blue gentleman? How is he truly supposed to act?

Todays Reality. In recent years, men seem to have forgotten or have never learned the simple rules of etiquette.. manners.. public discipline. These days, the role models for young men have shown them that its ok to call women “Bitches and Hoes”, be permiscuous, not take of their fatherly responsibilties, alternative lifestyles, and wear tight skinny jeans that hang off their butts, showing their boxers, when in reality they look a hot mess.

The Role Models

Who said this was ok?

Why is this ok?

Pure example...HOT MESS!

If you’re not a successful singer/rapper, model/actor, doctor/ lawyer, or businesses owner, as a man you have now been portrayed as a lazy,video gamer, willing to live off your women. What happened to the time when men actually dressed? They took pride in their appearance; ties, wingtips, and fedoras. They studied hard and worked even harder. Their goals were to find a wife, start a family, and become partner. (Sounds like the typical dream from the 1950’s).

Typical!!

Women. What (MOST) women want is a gentleman. One that opens doors, holds umbrellas, and offers his arm while taking a stroll. (Wow …I’m starting to sound like an old-fashioned lady) But in all reality these simple things are what makes a woman feel special, appreciated, and valued. Here is what most women look for in a gentleman:

Appearance. It’s attractive to see a man with confidence, but not conceded, a man that makes an effort in his appearance (hair, body, dress). I love a man in a tux or a suit, but jeans a polo, and some clean sneaks are also nice. When he knows how to dress the part….a tuxedo for the ballet, a suit for dinner, or jeans and polo/ t-shirt for a base-ball game… it helps a woman notice his pride in himself. Every man should know how to tie a tie, and wear a handkerchief, and cufflinks, a pen and lighter are also key components to every outfit even if he dosen’t smoke. Socks should match your shirt, belt should match your shoes. Shoes should be clean and not worn down. Hair should be cut and combed. Face should be well maintained clean-shaven or trimmed properly that includes nose, ears, and eyebrows. It’s ok for men to get masages, facials, manicures and pedicures. (This does not define you as a metro sexual). Cologne is always accepted but keep it to a volume.

True Blue Gentleman

Creativity. A woman looking for a gentleman is not looking at your wallet, she is looking at how you spend your time, how you treat your self and your family, how you set your goals. As a man of low-income, dating can be a challenge, but most of the time so is getting what you want. Even men with wealth must become creative and step outside the orignal dating box. That doesn’t mean going to the nearest fast food restaurant or getting the two for one deal at your neighborhood bar and grill. An idea like a home cooked meal that the two of you cook together or writing her a song (only if you can sing)….will make your date one to remember… meaning…What measures will you take to get the lady? Women like to swept off their feet, the typical movie and dinner is so dated, women do that alone or with their girlfriends now a days.

Effort. It’s courteous for a man to always be on time, tardiness shows no respect for her time. Pulling out a lady’s chair when sitting down to dinner, or offering one’s chair when non are available is a true sign of respect. Do things like..stand up when she steps away from the table and when she returns. Hold her coat for her to put it on, and the door while entering and exiting a building or vehicle. Also holding an umbrella on a rainy day, will score you points, and walking on the street side of traffic will show your concern for her safety. On a first date, giving her something of sentiment, like a rose, shows that you are interested. (I am not talking about a dozen rose … that just makes you look desperate).

Conversation. Put anything and everything away that will cause distractions (cell phones, Ipods, newspapers, magazines). Women like your full attention, they like to talk about their life and whats going on in it, but at the same time they don’t what your feed back to the point of you solving their problems. Listen, don’t interrupt, don’t argue, don’t curse, and don’t lose your temper.

Manners: With the proper table settings, work from the outside in, starting with the salad fork and knife. Learn how to properly eat and cut your food and taste and drink wine. If ordering a bottle of wine or champagne, always ask the lady what she prefers. Know what are finger foods (crab legs, peel and eat shrimp, and chicken wings) …not everything is proper to eat with fork. The napkin goes in your lap as soon as you sitdown, and when you get up, fold and place it on the table. Chew with your mouth closed, and no talking. Know your drinking limits. And know when you have had too much to drink. Never drink and drive. Only smoke after asking permission…..NO ONE LIKES TO KISS AN ASH TRAY. Drugs are NEVER appropriate.

Its ideal, but the bar has been set. How well do you measure up? There are many examples of this so-called “ideal man” but in truth they are all true to the Blue and none the less a Gentleman.

True Blue Gentleman

“If the gentleman has ability, he is magnanimous, generous, tolerant, and straightforward, through which he opens the way to instruct others. ” Xun Zi